I thought I might jump onto a horse near Jolly's bandwagon. I had this article published in part by Togatus last year. The second half of the article was deemed too "heavy" for that esteemed publication. (They just wanted to pay me for half the article...)
Smoking: Doing Your Bit for SocietyOver the past years, humanity has come to the realisation that there is too much of itself, to survive it must limit its reproduction. This is typified by China’s One Child policy, the push for the legalisation of abortions and the struggle for the acceptance of family planning techniques in the developing world. The reason for this is obvious: according to www.overpopulation.org, “humanity is consuming the earth’s resources twenty percent faster than they can be sustained”. How can humanity save its resources?
Smoking, according to the Non-Smokers Movement of Australia (NSMA) web site, is the most effective form of population control in young Australian males, euthanasing one quarter of those that do actually smoke. Only one in one thousand will be murdered and fifteen in one thousand will sacrifice their lives on the road. This clearly demonstrates the efficiency of tobacco smoking.
Having established that smoking is an effective form of population control, it is important to understand the holistic nature of smoking. Men and women are to be commended for puffing away on their tobacco sticks, for clogging their lungs up with tar. This is an important part of the process. However, these men and women, originally so gracious in their self-sacrifice, are beginning a trend that is more of a drain on society than not smoking at all: treatment.
Figures released by the NSMA claim that in 1986, over 1512 body parts were removed from various Australian bodies due to smoking related illnesses. These people should have accepted their fate of premature death with glee; rather, they run from this service to society straight into a spiral of dependency and inefficient death.
According to the WHO, roughly thirty- percent of the population of earth smoke. If all of these people were serious about their sacrifice to society, hospitals would need to treat thirty percent less people (assuming an even distribution between the treatment of smokers and non-smokers). The financial savings could be passed directly on to creating a sustainable world.
Before suggesting implementations, let us examine the known benefits of smoking.
Firstly, and most importantly, death.
Secondly, the loss of the sense of smell. This may sound quite unimportant, but it has severe ramifications in terms of consumption of food. The sense of smell is directly related to appetite. Lacking a sense of smell takes the enjoyment out of dining; hence, people eat so that they hunger no longer, rather than partaking in gluttonous orgies of fine food. This also suggests an end to the obesity crisis.
Thirdly, smoking feels good.
The culmination of these three important points means that there is enough incentive for people to begin the sacrifice of smoking of their own accord.
There are five steps that governments must take to successfully implement successful population control through the propagation of tobacco smoking.
Firstly, it must deal with availability. This is possible with three strategies. The first strategy is to remove the excise on cigarettes – making smoking more appealing to the lower classes. The second strategy is to subsidise tobacco farmers. The third is removing age limits.
People are not going to buy cigarettes if they are too expensive. In fact people are more likely to scrounge the unsmoked tobacco out of cigarette butts than pay an exorbitant price for their sacrifice. The government should not be taxing cigarettes. Hospitals, with at least thirty percent less patients, no longer need the funding coming from cigarette taxes.
Further to removing taxes, the governments of this world must be pro-active in saving this planet. They must get down to the grass roots level and support the farmers with land grants and capital for investment in things such as more efficient machinery and higher tar levels in each cigarette.
Finally in dealing with availability, it is important that even infants are taught to inhale deeply. The legal age for buying cigarettes must be abolished.
The second step is advertising. Marketing must be clear and precise, with separate campaigns for separate age/gender markets. For example, a new product “Kiddie-Smokes” could be given away with every pack of nappies that are sold. It is important that people understand their duty to the world. In the same way that people went to war to die for the good of their country, so people should smoke for the good of the world. It is something that everyone can be involved in, regardless of physical abilities and mental capacities.
The third step is changing the health system. Those sacrificing their lives in such a peaceful manner deserve a proper burial. While they have no rights in terms of treatment, they must be given respect in death. The health system must be transformed to focus on this service to society. Undertakers, coffin makers and mortuary assistants must become the basis of health sciences.
The fourth step is diversification. The aim of diversification is to make marijuana tomorrow’s tobacco. Expanding in the direction of marijuana has several advantages. Firstly, it gives people variety and choice. Secondly, it reduces people’s motivation, reducing their consumption of resources. The third main advantage is that the highs are more rewarding for the marijuana smoker than for the tobacco smoker. The final main advantage of marijuana smoking is the impact that it has on the male reproductive system, rendering many males infertile – taking population control to another level.
The final step is censorship. Many selfish people will rise up against this movement. Many will claim that smokers have equal rights to medical treatment. Many will become so selfish that they may even try to quit smoking. These movements must be quashed. Their existence must be removed from society. It will be these people that will cost the world the most, striving for sickly longevity. Campaigns such as “QUIT” must be censored. Such unenlightened movements are blights on society that must be stamped out.
Implementing these five steps will ensure the healthy longevity of this wonderful world in which we live.
Having seen the problem of over population, having been clearly instructed on the solution, what choice will you make? Remember: War is dying for one’s country. Smoking is dying for one’s world.
Contact your local Member of Parliament to begin saving the world or call the Start Smoking hotline now.
It is estimated that humanity is consuming the earth's resources 20% faster than they can be sustained.
Birth rates are falling worldwide but death rates are declining even faster.
http://www.overpopulation.org/
Surveys have established that up to 80% of smokers would like to stop smoking.
In Australia 2.9 million people have already succeeded in quitting.
Of 1,000 young Australian males who smoke, 1 will be murdered, 15 will be killed on the road and 250 will be killed before their time by tobacco.
http://www.nsma.org.au/figures.htm
Smoking kills far more Victorians every year than road accidents, alcohol and other drugs combined. Deaths due to tobacco use account for 82 per cent of all drug-caused deaths, and for around 15 per cent of deaths from all causes.
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Smoking_statistics?OpenDocument
